I sat on the floor with my knees tucked close to my chest and my arms wrapped around myself. I let the cadence of my breath try to sooth my racing heart, feeling perplexed and less than and hurting. I was closed off, not wanting to open up to anyone for any reason. After all, what if I unleashed the rain only to be unable to stop the torrential downpour? What if I drowned in it?

“Why me?” may be the only phrase that makes me clench my jaw. (Well, besides, “We’re out of coffee.”) Because here’s the thing: I live with certain beliefs, one being that we carry our assignments from our past lives into our present lives. In other words, if we choose to work on these assignments, we won’t have to repeat the same painful patterns over and over again, not just in our next lives, but in the life we’re living now.

Consider me a changed woman. (No, seriously.) In other words? California was just that good. I’ve barely been back, only home for a few days, and I’m having trouble containing my giant boatloads of excitement. So, without further ado, allow me to tell you the most wonderful bits about Los Angeles.

At times, it was impossible to take a breath, struggling to let the air inflate my lungs. The pain was completely encompassing and all-consuming. What was it going to take for it to disappear into the ether? How could I soothe myself and make it all better, ASAP? I thought surely there was a quick and easy fix to the restless, messy madness.

Bollywood is a dreamland. (Let’s be honest.) Enticing and luring, we all get sucked into its enchanting, magical love stories—no matter how unrealistic they are. Ultimately, Bollywood has shaped our lives and relationships, whether we realize it or not. Heck, as a young girl, I always felt that my own love life would end up like Amitabh’s and Rekha’s—just like in the movies. (Spoiler alert: My romances aren’t quiiiiiite playing out that way, or maybe they are !…but that’s another story for another post. Wink.)

Chances are, if you hang out in this space, you’ve heard me talk about the Real Love Course by Terri Cole. It’s a five-week program that was a huge eye opener for me (and no, I’m not an affiliate, I just really enjoyed it). While there were some serious parts to the course, I genuinely had bucket loads of fun playing around with it.