It always catches me by surprise what one year can do—let alone an entire lifetime. Honestly, these sort of soul-shifting transformations are the result of setting intentions and carefully crafting your reality. This rang true for me a million times over this year. For the first time ever, I gave myself full permission to take the next big step in my life so I could fiiiiinally move on.
I started out 2016 with LOVE, my word for this past year. While I reflected and journalled as time unfolded, I arrived at so many pivotal realizations and eye-brightening a-ha moments. It’s not even hyperbole to say that my life changed this year in a way it never has before. (Gimme a minute to catch my breath. It was that intense.)
At the beginning of 2016, I was smack dab in the center of some deep, crushing pain. Amidst the crying and uncertainty and hurt, I made a resounding commitment to myself—a commitment to let go of a relationship that was no longer serving me or the person I was with. But you see, in order for me to truly let go, I had to believe that I was actually good enough to free myself. A lot of my strength came from believing someone up there was going to look out for me. (Okay, so in the interest of transparency, I didn’t have unwavering faith this whole time. It’s hard to stay optimistic when you’re terrified of letting go.)
One of my biggest realizations this past year was that I’ve been carrying around a pretty hefty self- limiting belief. “I’m not good enough”. That no one would want to be with me after all this. That no one would love me the way my past lovers did. That I would be damaged material incapable of healing or growth. That I’m going to age and die alone. Horrible, horrible thoughts, but this is what we do to ourselves, y’know? I’m definitely not alone in this.
It took me 8 loooong years to start fresh. It’s really shocking to me how someone—meaning me—can stay entrenched in unhealthy patterns for that long. If you were sitting across from me right now, you’d be in disbelief at the level of pain I was willing to endure in the name of “love”. I say “love” in quotes because real and healthy love doesn’t look like this. That much I learned…eventually.
By this point in time, at the end of 2015 and just before 2016, I had hit my personal rock bottom, so frazzled and anxious that I went on the hunt for answers. After all, I didn’t want to repeat the same mistakes over and over again—that’s just a cruel form of torture. As I started down this road of discovery, I braced myself. I knew in my bones it would be a journey of struggle, and I equipped myself with the best weapon against fear and pain that exists: support.
Support came in various forms—friends, family, mentors, and the ex hubby. (Can you believe it? Read the full story here). There is one mentor that deserves a shout out, namely because her guidance was such a massive game changer for me. I attribute my discovery of her to divine guidance. I was down in the dumps and gifted a big blessing when I found her. I consider it all a gentle reminder that anytime you take a brave and courageous step towards your truth, the universe conspires to make it happen. Believe that.
The Real Love Revolution program was insanely good—and I’m not just saying that. When I rave about something it’s because I really, truly believe it in. I got lucky that it came to me when it did. (No surprise there.) Somehow, some way, things show up on my path in perfect timing—even adversity. I receive only what I can handle.
Here are my fav takeaways both from Terri’s program, and being around a group of incredible women:
- You get in your own way. The good news? You can totally change your limiting beliefs, and you already have all the power to make it happen. In order to chuck those negative, nasty whispers out the window, you need a liberal helping of support, and Terri’s program is easily one of the best ones for it.
- It’s important to invest the time in understanding patterns. Like, really understanding them. You can’t fix unhealthy patterns unless you make the effort to analyze them critically. This alone changed the game for me. (“The game” being my life, my happiness, and my personal growth.)
- Learn how to let go. Releasing any past hurts and practicing forgiveness both play lead roles in your joy levels. Otherwise, you’re only hurting yourself.
- Set rigid boundaries. Besides me, who else hasn’t mastered this? I’m definitely still learning how to be an expert at boundaries, but I’m so much further along than I used to be, and the results have been really encouraging.
- Figure out how to date yourself. So, this was easily the best part. I finally mustered up the courage to take myself out on a solo date and it was some of the most fun I’ve had in years. I wrote a blog on my whole experience and it was a big hit. (You can read it here.) After that point, I was cruising. My path to real love started with self love. It’s my life’s biggest truth.
Sometimes, you’ve got to rewrite your love story. It doesn’t matter if you’re single, in a relationship, or “it’s complicated” on Facebook, Terri’s program will help you l-o-v-e in such a beautiful and conscious way. Being in a relationship—either with yourself, or with a partner—that supports your evolution is your birthright. Seek it out.
Here’s to your happily ever after, today and always.