How to Leverage Criticism for Personal GainMar 02, 2018
“Your posts are cheesy and everyone thinks so too!”
Whoooooaaaaa. Immediate deflation. Way to crush me dude.
Not too long ago, I was faced with an unexpected encounter with someone I’ve had a falling out with. In the midst of angry words, I was instantly left with immense self doubt and uncertainty.
Isn’t it crazy that in a split second, those words had the power to derail me?
Now, I didn’t fall apart or anything like that. I just…I just…believed a little bit less in myself than I did a minute ago. Ok. That’s pretty huge in and of itself.
I pride myself in having a super thick skin but I wasn’t always that way. I was a very sensitive human but over the years, life experiences and the wisdom I’ve inherited along the way have toughened me up and I’m better for it because if I want to continue doing the work that I do, and to show up raw and real, I wouldn’t be able to lead if I took everything personally. That’s for sure.
Having said that, it’s important not to fall into the trap of having a skin that’s too thick because then the armour prevents you from feeling all the good feels too.
I’m still super sensitive when it comes to personal relationships. And rightfully so.
I am human after all. I do have feelings as much as I want to park them to the side at times. And so I choose to talk about this issue rather ignore it. I choose to bring it to light. I choose to attract attention to it.
Because I was triggered to do so by a woman whom I deeply admire. Her name is Amy Porterfield and this morning, I listened to her latest podcast titled “How I Handle Criticism as an Online Marketer”.
So wouldn’t you know it, I jumped onto Facebook Live, cause when in doubt, go vulnerable!
What I learnt was that basically the deeper I dig into this work I want to do with women and create an online business, the higher the risk of being criticized.
Let me take that one step further tho. No-one. And I repeat. No-one is spared of criticism. Am I right? Haven’t you ever been criticized? (And if you answered “No”-please please please hit reply because I would love to have a convo with you about this)
What I want to do most right now is to share with you the 3 tips that Amy shared with me. And if you want to dig deeper into this topic with her, here is the link to her podcast episode. I enjoy listening to her all the time-I’m a bit of a geek that way. I don’t watch TV. I listen to marketing podcasts instead 😉
Here’s what I took away from Amy’s teachings. Although she talks about online presence, I feel these tips apply to all aspects of life:
1. If you deeply believe in your WHY, let that be your unwavering support as you work your way out of self doubt when someone criticizes you. It’s so easy to jump right in to pleasing the person who criticizes you but PAUSE. Think it over. See why you would be willing to so easily go back on your words or compromise your integrity. My guess is that it has to do with feeling uncomfortable with confrontation.
2. Respond. Once you’ve calmed yourself down and are in a place of reason, respond back with Grace and Elegance. Key words friends. Grace and Elegance. I can’t emphasize this enough. How many times have you responded back hastily, stringing absurd words together only to find that you’re a blubbering mess. I have and it all backfired! So take your time on this one and…be nice.
3. Weigh the criticism. Look beyond the tone and the nastiness and actually see if there is some truth in this criticism. If so, learn what you need to learn from it to better yourself, to better your business, to better whatever. The important thing is that you’re better off as a result of it.
There you have it! In case you want to see me bare it all on Facebook Live, you can catch the episode here.
Do you agree?
How have you handled criticism? What’s worked and what hasn’t?
Please hop on here and share in the comment section. I’m all ears!