Perpetually sensitive to energies, I felt the shift in the air as soon as we approached end November. This year, it took a bit longer to sink into the magical energy of December but it came nonetheless and it also came with some guilt. The guilt of having survived 2020 with clarity, stillness and fulfillment while many around me continue to struggle. Granting myself permission to be in this space between with peace, I sunk into the deeper and wiser parts of myself for some answers.
Closing 2020 means thanking my word of the year, Command, for all that it’s gifted me. The gift of clarity isn’t one to be taken lightly. It’s the birthplace of goodness, conscious acts and intentional living. What I’ve come to realize this year is that while I’ve been forced to stay at home for most of it, I’ve also managed to start a herb garden and seek solace in the healing energies of plant medicine. Home cooking has never brought me as much joy as it did this year. I found myself gravitating towards the finest of ingredients and cookware even when I was solo dining. In fact, the act of setting the table for one as the aroma of a slow cooked meal simmering in the oven lingered in the air while I slowly poured myself a delicious glass of red brought so much joy.
As I bundled up yesterday for an early morning walk through the short forested trail in front of my house -which of course I’ve done more of during this pandemic – I reflected back at how easily I had been able to notice the tiny and subtle changes throughout the seasons. While the world’s been in lockdown, nature’s been having her moment. I bet if my frail, elderly and highly needy cat could speak, she’d tell you how happy she’s been to have had me all to herself for the first few hours in the mornings at a much slower pace that she’s ever been used to.
Perhaps the biggest gift of 2020 has been one that isn’t as obvious or tangible and certainly not as easily visible although, those close to me might argue that. Shedding layers of self-doubt has probably been in the making for most of my life but it was Command that pushed me towards owning my worth in a way that feels whole and true.
Ending 2020 on a high note wasn’t what I expected but I’m fully receiving it with an open heart as I step into 2021 with my new word of the year, Tend. In 2021, I’ll be tending to all that came forth in this unprecedented year.
Ask yourself:
What’s remains when I cut out the noise and return to the beats of my heart while the world around me sleeps for just a little while longer?
